By Kimbo
(Rated PG-13 for adult themes)

Joe set down his guitar case, trying to ignore the young woman talking to Tom and Brad across the room. Although she had been hanging out for a few days already, today was considered her first real work day. Hired by Steven, she was a creative engineer for the band...an organizational muse. Joe rolled his eyes at the thought. How could someone who was only twenty-eight years old with no business or music experience offer a band like Aerosmith anything of real value? Well, he certainly didn’t need her around and hoped she’d stay out of his way. Ever since he had first laid eyes on her, he had felt strangely ill at ease with himself. Distracted and more edgy than usual, he could barely concentrate whenever she was in the room. If it wasn’t for the fact that he had been outvoted by the group, she wouldn’t even be there.

As he set up to play, Joe’s mind wandered back four weeks ago to the night she had crossed his path. It had been a great show; the crowd was wild and the place as usual was sold out. Everything had gone off without a hitch until after the show when a small group of fans had shown up backstage. Apparently, the local radio station had given them backstage passes. Steven had gone into full rock star mode, entertaining them while the other guys showered and changed clothes. There was a party afterwards at the nearby Hilton and although he wasn’t in the mood, they had insisted that he go. As if that weren’t enough, Steven had invited the five females that were in the backstage group. If only he had known then just how much trouble that would prove to be!

Breaking Joe’s reverie, Steven walked into the room with a huge grin on his face. He was dressed in his usual king of the gypsies attire even for rehearsal. The sheer watercolor floral shirt and purple velvet pants could only be worn by a guy with balls of solid rock! Topped off by a wide brimmed purple velvet hat and his usual rattling silver jewelry, Steven looked like a prince that had been transported in via time machine. Joe shook his head, glancing down at his own faded jeans and black t-shirt. Steven always dressed the part of the rock star.

“Hey guys! I see we’re all here...except Joey. Is he comin’ or what?” Steven asked with mock belligerence.

“Fuck you, Steven!” Joey purposely bumped into him as he sauntered in with drumsticks in hand. “I was here before any of you losers and I even made coffee!”

“Yeah, Steven, its the pot of hot mud back there!” Tom snickered, ignoring Joey’s sideways glance. Brad nodded in agreement. But Steven was onto other things before Joey could defend himself.

“Hey, I see you did come back! I was hoping we hadn’t scared you off yet.” he said as he noticed the girl in the back of the room. He walked over and hugged her warmly. Joe couldn’t hear anymore of what he was saying. Glancing up as he unrolled monster cable, he paid attention to how she smiled and talked easily among them all. Biting his lip in frustration, he shook it off and tried to refocus on his work.

She was the trouble that had followed him home, so to speak. It had started at the party weeks earlier. She had been among the women that Steven had invited along. But unlike her friends, this girl wasn’t throwing herself at Steven. She was rather quiet though she smiled a lot. She seemed much more reserved than the others. In the limo ride to the party, Joe had tried to blend into the dark leather seats. He had barely glanced at or spoken to any of the women, avoiding conversation by closing his eyes. The one time he did open them, he couldn’t help but notice the beautiful girl sitting across from him. She was staring at him, then dropped her eyes into her lap. Joe closed his eyes again, trying to swallow his sudden curiosity. Involuntarily, he looked again and she was staring out the window. Suddenly her eyes turned toward him and locked into his. He felt as if he had been thrown out into the middle of traffic.

Her hair was a cascade of auburn curls that fell to her shoulders, framing a startlingly beautiful face. The eyes looked back at him were like jade. Her clothes were simple, black sweater and jeans but she looked elegant nonetheless. He found himself unable to stop staring at her, his thoughts reeling wildly with the shock of what was happening inside of him. For the first time in almost a year, he found himself drawn to a woman that wasn’t his wife. Though the divorce had been final for some time, he had been unable to move on. He had tried everything he knew to hold onto his wife. But she had made it quite clear that it was over. So much for the idea of happily ever after! Now she was involved with another man. But for Joe the very thought of romance, much less casual sex, had been the farthest thing from his mind until that moment. Staring into those jewel eyes, he felt like a man waking from a deep sleep. But it was not a feeling that he welcomed with ease.

Apparently, during the course of the evening, Steven had taken an interest in her during a conversation. Her name was

Lily. A computer programmer by profession, she was also a free-

lance writer. Her whole demeanor was alluring; soft-spoken, friendly and incredibly beautiful. To top it off, she was totally absorbed in their music. Immediately, she hit it off with the entire group. Well, almost the entire group. Joe found it easier to quench his stirring desires with an attitude of hostility. It made no sense, really. He had only met her and yet it seemed that every time they made eye contact, his knees turned to jelly. It was as if she had bewitched him. He was drawn to her in the way that frightened him the most. While his four band mates had sat around talking to her even after the party had wound down, he sat sullen and unwilling to participate. The next day, they all accused him of being rude. “Openly hostile”, were Tom’s exact words. That pissed him off even more. Now just a few weeks later, there she was, making him fumble clumsily with his equipment.

“Joe...is there anything I can get for you?”

Her voice startled him back to the present and he nearly dropped his guitar as he spun around. There she was, standing right in front of him. Her hair was pulled back from her face today in a loose braid. He tried not to look any further, but could not help but notice how her body curved in all the right places. Even her loose fitting white shirt and jeans made his imagination run wild...

“What do you mean?” his voice sounded strained and weak and he felt a little light headed. What the fuck is wrong with me, he thought to himself. Then Lily gave him a dazzling smile that literally took his breath.

“Well, Brad won’t drink Joey’s coffee, so I’m going out for the good stuff! You have a request?” she asked.

“No.” he answered her flatly, turning away and finding something in his guitar case to busy himself with. She stood a moment before she started away. Impulsively, he turned back and heard himself speaking to her. “ Yeah, okay...a cappuccino, I guess.”

He winced at the sound of his voice as it nearly cracked. She didn’t seem to notice and nodded, holding his stare with her voodoo eyes before she looked away. Steven appeared and handed her a list along with some cash and directions to the closest Starbucks which was about ten miles down the highway in the small town of Cohasset.

“Okay, here is the list of coffee requests...ignore Joey’s because I’m making him drink that sludge HE made. Also can you make a run into the music shop across the street and pick up some string for Tom? He always breaks in the middle of rehearsal.” Steven had his arm around her shoulders in the same friendly way he had with all women. He was clearly fond of her, but Joe knew that it was not romantic. Steven was happily married; it was just that he had a natural rapport with women. Still, Joe found himself feeling a twinge of jealousy.

“Hey will ya pick up some for me too?” Joe heard himself break in, flushing a little as Steven looked over at him. “Some string...I just want to be prepared.” God, how stupid did that sound, he thought, mortified. Steven nodded and grabbed a pen. He paused in thought before adding the scribble to the paper. Then, Joe watched her leave, trying to ignore the sly grin on Steven’s face.

“Somebody’s got a crush.” Steven taunted, smiling wickedly.

Joe gave him a withering scowl that stopped him cold. “Hey Joe, what’s up with you anyway?”

“Meaning?” Joe walked over to the small kitchenette in the back of the room and started hunting for food. This particular studio was an out of the way place for them where they would go early into a project to work on tracks. It was located out in the middle of nowhere and they always forgot to bring food.

“Meaning you, with the greater-than-normal melodrama!" Steven shot back playfully. “It’s like you have one big eyebrow!”

“Don’t we have something to eat here?” Joe was rummaging through the cabinets like a madman. All he could find were tea bags and saltines.

“..you don’t talk much...”

“Do I usually?” Joe had discovered leftover pizza in the refrigerator from the day before and had tossed it into the microwave. He watched the timer, praying that his friend would let the matter drop. But Steven never relented that easily.

“..I mean, way less than normal! We’ve all noticed it, you can’t deny it.” Steven paused as the timer sounded. Did he dare to go further? It was obvious to everyone that Joe had it bad for Lily. Everyone but Joe, that is. “You never speak to her, Joe.”

“Who?” Joe asked, carefully keeping his eyes hidden.

“You know who I’m talking about. You could at least be nice, ya know? She doesn’t bite.” Steven spoke quietly now, aware that he was in sensitive ground. He had known Joe Perry for the better part of his life. Ever since his divorce, Joe had been more withdrawn and sullen than usual. It had been a shock when his wife announced that she was leaving him. He had gone through all the emotions of grieving as his friends looked on guardedly. They had all rallied together to support Joe and get him through what were the worst months of his life. He had come over them, but they left a deep sadness his eyes. It was a look that Steven had grown accustomed to until the night he caught him staring at Lily for the first time. Even though he appeared not to see as he kept gabbing to the others in the limo, Steven recognized the look on his face that night. Joe Perry was falling in love.

“Leave it alone, Steven!” Joe’s tone carried a warning in it. Steven shrugged, offering nothing else.

When Lily returned, she carried a basket of steaming coffees and a bag of pastry. Tom was more than a little excited about the jelly donuts that she remembered to pick up. They all got down to rehearsal and the next few hours passed without much incident. It was in the middle of working out a bridge to a crucial song, that Joe broke his first string.

“Fuck..” he muttered, rummaging around in his guitar case for extra string. “I should have brought another guitar!”

“I’m surprised ya didn’t. You usually bring four at least.” Brad smiled, joking around with him. He too, was aware of the tension that had been brewing within Joe lately. Not only was he irritable but his sound had actually been a little...off.

Seizing the opportunity for a break, Steven and Tom fought for turns at the bathroom while Joey and Brad started debating football stats. Joe turned the case upside down but found nothing and he could feel a dark frustration beginning to boil over. He had fucked the song up anyway. The intro sucked and the solo was a half hearted piece of crap. The guitar was being merciful by ending the thing where it did. He couldn’t help but think that maybe he was losing his touch. It was at this precise moment that Lily appeared beside him with a pack of string.

“I got some for you, remember?” she spoke quietly, aware that he seemed quite volatile. Handing him the bag, she looked at him and felt her knees quiver. All of her life, she had idolized him and by some wild twist of fate, here she stood; close enough to catch the faint scent of leather that always seemed to be with him. But she sensed that he didn’t like her much and she didn’t understand why.

Upon first meeting him, she had been swept away by those dark, intense eyes. They seemed to stare deep into her soul and made her feel naked in his presence. But just as the other band members had been warm and friendly, Joe had been silent, avoiding her until she was certain that it wasn’t her imagination. She longed to bridge the gap between them but was more than a little intimidated. He took the package of string from her, his fingers brushing against hers. There was a jolt of electricity that seemed to rush through both of them causing her hand to tremble, a fact that he did not miss. Again, for an instant, there seemed to be something in his eyes that was warm and inviting. So intense was this moment between them, that Steven stopped dead in his tracks upon coming back into the room. Even Brad and Joey had stopped talking and were looking on in captivated silence. Like a trapped animal, Joe felt himself on the edge of falling deep into those cat-like eyes. Then a quick flash of the pain and the emptiness that had tormented him over the past year came back to stab him sharply in the gut. The thought of risking it all again slammed him back to cold reality. This is exactly the kind of crap that ended in trouble last time, he thought.

“THIS ISN’T THE RIGHT FUCKING KIND!” he heard himself shouting. His words were angry snarls and he saw Lily visibly wince under them. “IF YOU’RE GONNA WORK WITH US, YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO AT LEAST GET THE SIMPLE SHIT RIGHT!” He tossed the package aside and backed away from her. Though he felt everyone staring at him it was Steven who dared to challenge him.

“Joe, I think you’re way out of line! This is the exact brand you always use! I wrote it down myself!” Steven had picked the package up off the floor and was holding it up for everyone to see. “Why the fuck are ya being such a bastard?”

For a long moment, no else said a word. Finally, Joe grabbed the package of string from him and angrily stormed into the control room. Brad started to say something but Tom shot him a warning look. This wasn’t the time to berate Joe; obviously, something was terribly wrong. Even worse, Lily was genuinely hurt and embarrassed by the whole incident. Hiding her face, she walked back to the kitchenette and busied herself tidying up.

Steven quickly followed her. “Hey, are ya okay?” he asked.

He could tell that she was trying not to cry.

“I’m fine, really.” She lied badly. “Its no big deal.”

“Yeah it is, Lily. Taking verbal abuse is not part of your job description! Besides, if it really didn’t bother you, then why are you crying?” Though she kept her eyes averted, he could still see the tears in them.

“Everybody knows he’s moody..” she half smiled, trying to make a joke. The truth was, it hurt like hell. Complicating the soup even further was something else she had not even dared to say aloud to anyone, even herself. From the first moment she had locked eyes with Joe, the attraction had been undeniable. She thought she had seen it in his eyes also; a sort of shocked realization. Then it was gone, replaced with a hostility that was hard enough to accept without his yelling at her too.

“Joe’s goin’ through some stuff right now. But I’m gonna have a talk with him. This won’t happen again!” But Lily shook her head.

“It’s not necessary, Steven. I know about...well, I heard about his divorce last year. I’m sure he’s still adjusting.” she said, sounding as if she were convincing herself. Steven shook his head, marveling at her good natured innocence.

“Yeah, we’ve all cut him a lot of slack because of that. But I’m startin' to think we haven’t done him any real favors by doin' that.” Steven said thoughtfully. “You know, he’s dragging two divorces behind him like they’re both his fault. I think the last one was the worst. Big shock for all of us, really.”

“It’s gonna work out, Steven.” Lily spoke reassuringly. The tears had faded from her eyes and she was smiling.

“Hey I thought I was supposed to be makin’ you feel better, not the other way around!” Steven said.

“You already did..” she kissed him lightly on the cheek.

The rest of rehearsal was rather subdued. Joe didn’t say much to anyone. When it was over, he was the first one out the door and onto the highway. Jamming on the gas pedal, he floored the big, black suburban. Years ago, he would have preferred the Porsche on a day like today. Now he thought that the deep solid roar of the truck echoed his rage a bit better. He felt as if a monster was trapped within his body, using him like a puppet. He couldn’t place his anger on any one thing or any one person but he knew that he was on a collision course with trouble. The rest of the night, he spent with his guitar. Lying awake in bed, he tossed and turned until he finally got up and grabbed the old acoustic from where it had been flung a few days earlier; a silent victim of another attack of rage. A few bars came to him slowly and soon he was working it into something. When he was done, he got up and flipped on a tape recorder, putting the whole thing down on tape. That’ll blow them away tomorrow....

******

The next day dawned cloudy and bleak. It was early October and already the weather was turning fast. Storm clouds loomed over the horizon ominously. The weather channel reported that a fast moving cold front was barreling toward the area, pushing the remnants of Indian summer into distant memory. The cold air mass slamming into the warm one would bring the possibility of severe thunderstorms. It was a day that would prove to be much like Joe’s mood.

When he showed up at the studio, the guys were already there. The room went quiet for a moment when he entered. That almost immediately annoyed him. He looked first at Steven, then in turn to Tom, Brad and finally Joey. They all looked as if they were waiting for him to say something. Suddenly he realized that he didn’t see Lily anywhere.

“I guess I scared her away and now you’re all pissed at me, right?” he growled, trying to hide that his eyes were searching the corners of the room for her. It was slowly beginning to dawn on him that they had probably all seen through his attempts to cover up his interest in her.

“She’s coming in late.” said Steven. “By the way, Joe, nobody’s pissed at you. We’re all family here! Today’s another day, right?” he clapped Joe on the back warmly. Joe managed a half hearted smile. It made him feel even worse when Steven refused to get angry with him.

“So are we gonna play or are we just gonna break down and hug each other?” Brad mused. Scowling, Joe started setting up his amps. The cassette tape in his jacket pocket rattled and he took it out, laying it down on one of the Marshalls. He would wait awhile before playing it; build up some really strong live riffs and then amaze them all with what he had written last night. He knew his playing had sucked lately but he was determined to put all that in the past.

No sooner had those thoughts settled, the door opened and there she was. Her hair was loose today, the curls framing her lovely face and then swirling down around her shoulders. Suddenly it was as if all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. He locked into those vivid green eyes and found himself powerless to break free. In fact, he was so enthralled that he accidentally backed up into one of the marshals, upsetting a stack of monster cable without seeming to notice. He also neglected to hear the cassette tape falling into the shadows between the amp and the wall.

She was carrying an assortment of bags that they all rushed to intercept from her. Everyone except Joe. He just stood there unable to make his feet move in her direction. The last time I felt this stupid was in high school....he thought, noticing quite enviously how she smiled and joked around easily with them. He wanted to just feel normal around her, but it was impossible. He knew that every time he looked in those eyes, he was falling in love, exactly where he did not want to be. Being in love meant risking emotional vulnerability all over again. Being in love had nearly ruined his life twice already. Besides, what would a young woman like herself want with him anyways? He was forty-two years old, over twelve years her senior. There had been a time when he would have guffawed at that thought. Funny how heartache could break a man in half. He let the moment subside, trying not to notice the dewy softness of her skin revealed by the open buttons of the faded denim shirt she wore. Peeking from beneath it, he could see a tight lace midriff top that stopped just two inches shy of the waistband of well worn jeans. In the past, he had suspected strongly that she had a beautiful body. Now he knew without a doubt.

Forcing himself back to reality, he gave her a slight nod. It was the only greeting he could muster. She acknowledged him with a smile, but her eyes said so much more. He could imagine himself going over to her and taking her in his arms, kissing those lips until they burned with desire for him. Feeling his face flush hotly, he turned to finish his work. She had brought them not only breakfast, but some food for the kitchenette as well. Tom took the bags with breakfast and began searching for his favorite pastry. Joey and Steven were putting away the rest of the groceries, arguing heatedly about the rhythm of a certain song. Brad tried hopelessly to referee but Steven usually had the last word anyway. With everyone’s attention focused elsewhere, Joe discreetly glanced around. Lily was back in the control room. He could see her through the glass searching for something. As if possessed, his body moved toward the room. He could almost hear his insides screaming but was unable to stop.

“Whatcha need?” he forced his voice deeper in an attempt to steady it. She jumped lightly at the sound of his voice.

“Uh...a, um tape recorder...”she stumbled, aware that he stood blocking the exit door. Her eyes swept over his body before coming back to meet his piercing gaze. Joe Perry was a man whose physical presence alone could take your breath away.

“In there.” He pointed to a file cabinet behind her. “Top drawer.” He knew he should walk away but something held him in place. She tried to open the drawer but it was stuck tightly. Joe looked on for a moment more before he walked over to help.

Lily felt a prickly sensation on the back of her neck, sensing that Joe was directly behind her. With one strong arm, he reached over her, yanking the drawer open. Because she was still holding onto it, the sudden force knocked her backwards into his rock hard body. In one awkward movement, she panicked and tried to move away, but the file drawer stuck out and left her little room to maneuver. They now stood face to face, only inches apart. He looked almost physically jarred, frozen in place. His eyes mirrored a strange fear. Suddenly, she realized that underneath that fear was a man burning with a fire that begged to be freed. That cool exterior was the tough skin that protected his true vulnerability. She saw the look and she could feel the heat that radiated between them. Impulsively, she reached up and touched his finely chiseled face, tracing her fingers softly down his cheek while her eyes consumed his.

Joe literally shook beneath her soft touch. A sensation he had not felt in a very long time ran down his spine and began to stir in his groin. Those eyes were drawing him in, sending him spiraling downward into their vortex. He not only desired her physically; he wanted to possess her completely, heart and soul. Without thinking, he moved closer, drawing his lips down toward hers when suddenly he stopped and pushed away like a singed cat. How could he forget the nights he had just spent getting over what he believed was the love of his life? No way he was ever going there again! Bolting out of the room, he left her in complete shock. After a moment, she heard Tom and Brad warming up and refocused on the matter at hand. It was time to go to work!

Steven’s idea was to have a tape recorder running during the rehearsals so they could catch a lot of the ideas that slipped away in the memory process. She had brought in a whole box of cassette tapes and set herself up in a corner behind a row of Joe’s marshals. In a notebook, she kept careful notes that went along with the tapes. Between these sessions and the notes from Steven’s lyric notebook, she hoped to keep his thoughts organized enough so he could develop a clear thought pattern. Although brilliant in his songwriting, Steven tended to be undisciplined and needed a push to keep himself on track. Often he would get so tied up in every other musical aspect of a song he’d forget all about the lyrics. Her job was to keep him focused.

As the rehearsal cranked up, she found her mind wandering back to what had almost happened with Joe. She couldn’t help but keep staring at him while he played. That body, those eyes, the way he held his guitar...he possessed a raw sexuality that had begun to torment her body. She felt her face burn shamefully at the unbidden thoughts he stirred within her. It was such pleasure just watching him that she was blissfully unaware of how quickly the morning had passed. Somewhere around twelve-thirty, the sounds of thunder could be heard over the guitars. Everyone agreed that it was definitely time for lunch.

Throughout the rehearsal, Joe had stood with his back toward Lily. He couldn’t bear the thought of looking at her after what he had almost done. He had let his emotions show and knew without question that she had seen what he had been trying desperately to hide. It made him feel awkward, fueling the anger that lurked within. Rationally, he now understood that his anger shouldn’t be directed at her. The feelings she had aroused had also set free a hidden well of dark emotions leftover from the pain of his divorce. All the months he had suffered silently, never saying his peace, were now working themselves to the surface. He decided that he would take off by himself for the upcoming weekend, maybe do some hiking in the mountains. Anything to clear his mind.

While Brad and Joey stepped outside for some air, Tom puttered around the kitchen making himself a huge sandwich. Steven sat with Lily, going over her notes while she transferred them to her laptop. Perfect time for a little entertainment, he thought, looking about for the cassette he had brought. To his dismay, it wasn’t where he left it.

“What are ya looking for?” Tom asked, his mouth full. Joe ripped apart the area, searching frantically.

“A fuckin' tape I made last night! I finally worked out the bridge of that one song that’s been trippin' me up...now where the hell is it?” It was nowhere to be seen.

Tom shrugged casually. “Hey man, just play what you remember. It’ll turn up later.”

But Joe didn’t seem to hear him. He was bent on finding the tape and would do no less. Suddenly he saw the tape recorder that Lily had been using and he froze in place. The cassette inside it was exactly the same kind as his. No fuckin' way! Without stopping to think, he wheeled around and started toward her.

“Hey! Did you record over the tape I brought in?” he snapped loudly. Both Lily and Steven looked up, not comprehending exactly what he was saying. The blank look on her face reminded him for a second of the look his ex-wife had given him after he practically begged her to stay. In the end, she walked out the door without a word.

“What tape?” Lily asked, her face looking rather pale beneath his angry eyes. Outside the thunder echoed loudly with the approach of the gathering storm.

“The fuckin’ tape I laid down on one of the amps this morning!” Joe raised his voice now, aware that he was pushing dangerously close to the line. He was unable to control himself, feeling distant as if somehow watching outside of his body.

Steven leaped into the thick of it. “WHAT tape, Joe? You didn’t mention it before now!”

“I know I didn’t! But I worked out that song I keep fuckin' up on and rewrote the intro! I was up half the night with it!”

“Look, just slow down a minute! You’re not gettin' all bent out of shape about just a tape! Besides which, why would you assume that Lily would take it?” Steven answered him heatedly. Lily kept her head lowered so no one could see her face.

“Well isn’t she the one with the tape recorder?” Joe spat back sarcastically. “IT’S HER SECOND DAY AND SHE’S ALREADY RUINED HOURS OF WORK I PUT IN ON THAT PIECE! I MEAN, DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW HOW MUCH I’VE SUCKED LATELY? I’M TRYING TO TURN THAT AROUND BUT NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT THAT! YOU GUYS GIVE ME A LOT OF SHIT ABOUT MY ATTITUDE LATELY BUT YOU’RE ONLY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW IT RELATES TO THE PRINCESS!”

“Joe, I think you better put it in park before you blow a fuse, buddy! I just found it.” Tom had spotted the tape partially buried beneath a pile of cord and was bending to retrieve it. But Joe wasn’t listening to him. He didn’t even hear the door open when Brad and Joey came back inside. The knot of emotions that had been building up inside of him was erupting and coming out in an uncontrollable torrent. Before he was finished, someone was gonna get hurt.

“YA KNOW, I DIDN’T WANT HER HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! NO ONE ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED! BUT NOBODY FUCKIN CARES ABOUT WHAT I’M THINKIN ANYWAY! I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT NOW, WHAT THE HELL IS SHE HERE FOR?” he yelled, angrily hurling his guitar case up against the far wall of the room. Wheeling around, he faced her squarely. “WHY DON’T YOU GO BACK TO WHATEVER BACKWATER TOWN YOU FUCKIN CAME FROM AND GIVE ME SOME PEACE! EVER SINCE I LAID EYES ON YOU, I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO GET A CLEAR THOUGHT OUT OF MY HEAD MUCH LESS A CHORD FROM MY FINGERS! YOU BOUGHT COFFEE, PUSHED THE BUTTONS ON A RECORDER AND YOU SEEM TO KISS STEVEN’S ASS REALLY WELL! ARE YA GONNA ROTATE AND DO US ALL OR ARE YOU JUST ON HIS PAYROLL?”

The words hung in the air ominously for a moment, bitter and sarcastic. Outside, thunder rolled loudly as a bolt of lightning crackled. Completely drained, Joe sank heavily into a nearby chair. The fog of his anger lifted and it was as if he could see clearly for the first time in months. The shocked faces of his band mates made him flinch. Then he looked at Lily and his heart rose to his throat nearly choking him. Her face had gone ghostly white and she looked as if someone had struck her. But it was her eyes that cut him down to the bone.

What had been in those eyes was a compassion and tenderness that he had not experienced before. It frightened him. It made him feel vulnerable to the kind of pain he had just experienced with the breakup of his marriage. The anger and frustration of those months had finally broken free but at what cost? Joe involuntarily caught his breath sharply as he tried to speak but was overcome with the rawness of his emotions. His voice faltered for a moment, then failed. A silent teardrop fell unchecked down her face as she quickly rose to her feet and ran out the door. Brad ran after her. Steven’s face was dark and angry.

“Joe, she spent most of last night deciphering all my scatterbrain notes to some form of legible English!” Steven said. “I mean, you more than anyone else, bitch and complain all the time about me not having enough work done on the lyrics? Well, she’s helping me organize my thoughts so we can start pumping out some music! Where have you been? Didn’t you get that in the beginning or were you just lost in some self absorbed trip about yourself?”

Joe hung his head, feeling all the tension in his body release. Shame burned on his face. “I deserve that..” he nodded. “I deserve a lot worse! Steven, I’m sorry... I don’t know what’s wrong with me..” He could feel tears burning his eyes. When he turned to Tom and saw him holding the cassette tape in his hands he wanted to die.

“Well, I can’t find her!” Brad said as he came back inside the studio. “She’s nowhere to be seen and her car is still here.” There was already rain drops on his dark jacket and the sounds of thunder were nearly deafening.

Joe wasted no time in heading out to look for her. It stood to reason it should be his responsibility to find her. The others followed him, their faces marked with concern. Steven held his anger in restraint but it burned brightly in his eyes. Outside, it was warm for an October day. Overhead, the skies were filled with dark clouds and wind was beginning to whip up dirt and debris. The sound of thunder pealed again as lightning licked the dark skies. Lily’s car was still sitting next to Steven’s red jeep. There was a highway that ran directly in front of the studio but the surrounding area was nothing but farmlands and marsh. Behind the studio, a path led down into some trees that covered about fifty acres of land between them and the closest housing development. The old path led down to the trees and disappeared.

“I bet she followed that old trail!” Joey chimed in. “She asked me about it before. I told her about the bridge.”

“But why would she go there? Didn’t you tell her it was falling apart?” Tom said.

“Is it?” Joey seemed bewildered. “I didn’t know..”

“She was too upset to remember it even if you had! It was obvious she just needed to get away for some air.” Steven said dryly, trying to keep his tone in check.

“Go ahead and say it! She was trying to get away from me!” Joe had already started down towards the path, the wind blowing his hair around wildly. “I’ll go find her! There’s no point in you guys getting wet because I behaved like an asshole!” He disappeared into the trees and when Tom started to follow, Steven grabbed his arm, shaking his head.

“Let him go, Tom. He needs to face this demon down once and for all. We’ll give him head start before we follow.” Steven spoke raspily.

“Why doesn’t he just admit that he loves her?” Brad seemed distraught. “I mean, I think we’ve all noticed the attraction! He deserves to have someone special in his life.”

“I totally agree!” Joey added. “It’s like he’s been dead for months now!”

“I think we just witnessed the breaking point today. I mean, whatever else happens, I bet the Joe that disappeared down that trail won’t be the same one coming back out.” Tom said, nodding in his wise way. “Come on, let’s see if we have rain gear or not!”

Meanwhile in the woods, Joe could feel drops of rain as the storm edged closer. The wind was bending the tops of the trees overhead. He was moving along the path in a half run, his eyes scanning the surrounding ground and the path in front of him. Up ahead, he could see the bridge coming into view. It was an old access that had been used by farmers to shortcut the highway by crossing the river there. When the studio had been built by the road, the path still remained, an old worn trail untouched by time. As he neared the bridge, he called out Lily’s name, listening and hoping for some kind of reply but hearing nothing.

The storm hit just as he reached the bridge. Blinded by the sudden rush of wind and rain, he stumbled out onto the bridge, calling her name. Lightning split open the skies as the sounds of thunder shook the ground. He called to her again but could hear nothing. The old moss covered bridge was made of wood and once wet became black and slippery. Below, the river itself wasn’t very deep but was filled with plenty of sharp rocks and the drop from the bridge was at least fifteen feet if not more. Suddenly he felt a knot in the pit of his stomach. On the far side of the bridge, he could see part of the railing had collapsed. It took seconds for him to cover the distance. That’s when he finally heard her.

She was hanging onto the bridge, trying desperately to get a foothold to climb back up. Joe grabbed onto her arms just as one of her hands slipped off the wet wooden planks. There was both fear and surprise in her eyes. The rain was coming down even harder now and the wind drove it directly at them like a curtain of knives. Joe held onto her tightly, refusing to let go no matter what the cost. He locked his hand around hers, feeling for the first time how perfectly it fit into his own.

“Lily! Grab my other hand!” Joe yelled over the roar of the storm. She nodded in understanding and took a deep breath before letting go. When at last he had both of them, he pulled her up, bracing himself against the remaining railing. He prayed that it wouldn’t give way. The surface of the bridge was so slick that he had no other choice. If the railing crashed, they would both fall to the rocks below. When he had her up, lightning struck a nearby tree, shattering wood and branches everywhere. Instinctively, Joe used his body to cover hers, pushing her down on the wet planks. She was shaking and he could hear her heart beating wildly against his own. A feeling of fierce protectiveness forced aside his own fear. When the strike had passed, he quickly acted on his instincts. He knew they had to find some shelter. Stumbling up, he pulled her along with him as he ran. The safest place for them to be right now was probably on the bank just under the bridge. The lightning was coming down sharply all around them, as if being hurled by someone out to get them.

Underneath the bridge, the light was dim and shadowy. For a long moment, they both looked at each other. Joe wanted to speak, but found that he could not. All he could do was stare at her, his eyes taking in that lovely face as if for the first time. All the anger had faded; all of the barriers had fallen aside in ruin. In their place burned his overwhelming desire for her. He stood there before her awkwardly, the emotions filling his eyes were naked and raw.

Reaching out he gently touched her face. Her skin was velvety soft like that of a ripe peach. He felt her shiver and watched as she dropped her eyes beneath his gaze. He could feel her hesitation, sense her doubt. Moving closer, he slowly turned her chin upward, tenderly forcing her to look into his eyes. He felt himself falling into those deep pools of green, no longer afraid. He moved closer and took her in his arms, feeling the rush of sensations as their bodies touched. The softness of her body pressed against his harder more muscular form generated a warmth that spread through him like liquid fire. He felt her quiver as he slowly lowered his face closer to hers, stopping barely two inches from her lips.

“I’m so sorry, Lily..” he whispered. “..I never meant to hurt you. I’m just afraid of the way you make me feel...”

“Say it, Joe...you have to say it right here, right now! I see it in your eyes. Can’t you see it in mine?” She barely breathed.

He teetered on the verge of tears. She had opened up the very core of his heart. “I’m afraid to open up, Lily! I don’t want to get used to needing you and then wake up one morning alone! I can’t go through that again...” A tear found its way down his cheek. His voice cracked under the emotions that were breaking free of their prison.

“I’m not going anywhere..” she whispered fiercely. Reflected in her eyes was a look of love like none he had ever seen before.

“I.....I love you..” The words tumbled out all at once, his voice trembling. “...ever since that first night, I’ve wanted you so badly!”

“Don’t you see that I feel the same way? You don’t have to be afraid of my love...its yours for always.”

There were no more words. He kissed her, drinking up her essence like a man dying of thirst. She met his mouth with a fire of her own, pulling him even closer as her fingers gripped the lower curve of his back. Her lips were soft and yielding making him dizzy with passion. Neither of them could get enough, each of their souls starving for the other. While the storm raged on around them, he held her tightly, his mouth never leaving hers; her breathing becoming his own. When the storm finally died down to a misty rain, their passion had built to a storm of its own.

Suddenly there were shouts from the trail above, breaking into the magical spell that bound them together.

As difficult as it was to leave the intimacy of that moment, Joe realized that Lily was shivering and he needed to get her home. To her surprise, he quickly kissed her once more then picked her up and carried her back to the trail. Steven met them in the middle of the bridge, his eyes wide with alarm. When he saw Lily rest her head on Joe’s shoulder, he immediately relaxed. No one else said much about the incident beyond their relief that she was safe. Of course, the remainder of rehearsal was postponed at that point. Since Brad had ridden with Steven, it was decided that he would drive Lily’s car home. Joe put her in his truck with such tender loving care that his four band mates couldn’t help but exchange glances. Tom had been right; Joe now seemed like a different man. His eyes, once shadowed, were clear and bright, his face reflecting a light from within. It was clear that something special had happened under that bridge.

Though the ride home was silent, emotions flowed between them like unspoken words. Lily closed her eyes contentedly, thinking back to the kiss that had all at once changed every- thing. Joe kept glancing at her, a secret smile toying with the corners of his mouth. When he pulled up into the driveway, he felt his heart begin to beat faster. After Brad dropped off the car, he said a few words to Lily, then hopped back into Steven’s jeep. Joe waved at them and Steven smiled. The look of peace on his buddy’s face was exactly what he had hoped for.

For the time being, Lily had moved into the rustic Victorian cottage that served as Steven’s guest house. Though occupying space on the grounds of estate, it was still far enough from the main house to guarantee their privacy. Joe walked her to the door then paused awkwardly. He didn’t want to go home but she had not yet asked him to stay. Unlocking the door, she turned to him with a warm and inviting smile.

“You should come inside and get yourself dry.” she said, her voice petal soft like a whisper. He nodded, trying to hide his eagerness. What he wanted more than anything was to get her back into his arms again.

The house was still as he remembered it, decorated in the warm country cottage style that brought out the rustic charm of the wooden flooring. Of course now it contained her feminine touches as well. Flowers, cozy pillows and a multitude of candles echoed an atmosphere for romance. On the far wall, a huge stone fireplace sat empty and void of warmth. Tonight he would start a fire to warm them both. He was trying to imagine what she would look like bathed in firelight when he realized she was speaking.

“Joe?” She was smiling at him, watching his face as he glanced around the house.

“What? Sorry, I was...thinkin'...” he began, smiling back as he shook his head.

“About what?” she asked breathlessly. She was afraid to take her eyes off of him, fearing he might vanish like a dream.

“I was thinkin'. that I need to get that fire started. It looks like tonight is gonna get chilly.” His eyes searched hers questioningly.

“I’d like that.” she answered, understanding well what burned in his deep brown eyes. “Why don’t you go upstairs and get a hot shower first? There’s some clothes in the guest room...I think they might even fit you.”

He nodded in agreement. “They will. They’re probably mine. I was staying here for awhile...until my divorce was final.” It seemed so easy now to speak of the divorce. In the sunshine of her presence, it seemed like a distant shadow. She seemed kind of surprised but gave him a dazzling smile before she disappeared to the master bedroom, which was on the first floor, tucked around in back of the house. When she was gone, he bounded up the stairs two at a time.

Alone in the shower, Joe let the hot water run over his aching muscles. There were a few bruises on his arms that he hadn’t noticed. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see her face, taste the sweetness of her lips, feel the heat of her touch on his skin. There was an urgency in his heart as he hurried to get dressed. Tonight would be perfect for both of them. He found an old flannel shirt and a pair of jeans among the clothes. Call it plain luck or sheer irony, he was glad that he had never quite moved out. If I am dreaming, please God, don’t let me wake up...

When Lily stepped out of the shower a little later, she heard an unfamiliar sound coming from the backyard. Peering out her window, she could see Joe chopping some wood for the fire he had promised her. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched. He was unbelievably handsome. His wavy dark hair fell to his shoulders; the arms that wielded the axe so strong and powerful. Remembering how he had held her tenderly in those same arms made her feel a happiness that seemed too daring to consider. Turning back to getting dressed, she worked at steeling her nerves. It was nearly six and would be dark outside in a matter of minutes. Being with him on such newly intimate terms took on another meaning with the setting sun.

Sometime later, Joe stared at the fire as it was being born in the once cold fireplace. Just like me, he thought. The heart within himself that once lay empty and untended now beat with a fiery passion again. A small voice in his head chided him for rushing into a relationship so quickly but his heart had drowned out all its reasoning. There was no turning back now. He looked around the room surveying his work.

With the coffee table pushed out of the way, he filled the space in front of the fire with a comfortable piling of quilts and cozy pillows. The only light in the room besides the flames came from a scattering of candles placed randomly around the room. There was no music and no champagne but then again there didn’t have to be. The only thing he wanted to hear was Lily softly sighing in his arms; the only drink he needed was from the carafe of her sweet mouth. There would be no interruptions tonight. Even the phone had been unplugged.

Joe had gotten the fire to a healthy glow when she finally emerged. He was kneeling by the hearth, deep in thought when he caught her movement into the room. Rising, he found himself suddenly not knowing what to do next. One look at her nearly knocked him off balance. She was wearing a mid-length black robe made of elegant Italian lace that skimmed the contours of her body perfectly. Her hair was pulled up loosely with a few stray tendrils falling around her face. He stood up, trying to steady himself.

“You’ve been busy..” she looked around, eyes wide at what she saw around her. “Joe, this is so romantic..”

“I wanted to show you that I could be a gentleman if I tried real hard..” he spoke softly, his eyes following her every move as she walked closer. “Lily, you look so beautiful..” The robe fell just above her knees, revealing two very shapely legs. Her feet were bare, the toenails painted a delicate shade of pink.

“Are you hungry?” she asked, walking over to stand in front of him, their bodies barely inches from touching. The look in his eyes told her dinner was the farthest thing from his mind.

“No...are you?” he touched her, running his fingertips up her arms, caressing her shoulders with his thumbs. He saw a desire to match his own, glittering in her jade-like eyes.

“No...” Her voice was barely a whisper, her breath caught in her throat. She could hear her heart pounding. He pulled her into his arms, letting his mouth trail kisses softly down the curve of her neck into the hollow of her throat. A warm dizziness spread over her body, making her feel lightheaded. Joe was pulling her down with him as he sank to his knees. There was something in his brown eyes that soothed her, frightened her and thrilled her all at once. As she met his mouth with hers, his tongue with her own, his fingers were unclipping her hair, caressing an untamed tumble of curls as they spiraled around her shoulders.

Joe drank in her sweetness hungrily. She aroused him to no end. The intensity of his passion was nearly a shock to his body. She had unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off. Her fingertips were touching his bare skin, setting him on fire. Tearing free of her mouth, he untied her robe and slid it off of her shoulders, down her arms, revealing a black lace chemise beneath. When he felt her fingers slide beneath the waistband of his jeans, he groaned softly.

Lily kissed his neck, running her tongue up to his ear. Her hands slid down his muscular chest and down his rock hard stomach muscles. She could feel another hardness pressing against her as she pulled him close, letting her hands grip the firm curve of his lower back. His breathing was erratic and she could hear his heart beating wildly in his chest. As her wandering fingers found the top button of his jeans, she felt an unmistakable quiver in his groin. By the time she had slid the zipper down, his mouth had found hers with a renewed urgency. Gently, she pushed him down on his back.

He surrendered in breathless anticipation smiling as she undressed him completely. He saw her eyes widen, her skin flush when she had tossed away the last layer. Sitting back suddenly, she pulled her knees to her chest and looked at him with those same wide eyes. He rose to sitting and put his arms around her. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he whispered gently.

“Joe...I’ve..” she faltered. “..the truth is, I've never done this before.” She lowered her eyes, afraid to look at his face. She had never before felt so stupid. But Joe tilted her chin upward and kissed the tip of her nose tenderly.

“Is that all? You scared me for a minute there.” he was smiling at her lovingly.

“You probably think its hokey but I’ve always wanted to save myself for the right one.” she said softly. He was stroking her hair, pushing it back from her face tenderly.

“No, baby...its a precious gift.” he answered reassuringly. He leaned forward to kiss her, seeking out her tongue with his. His hands found the bottom of the chemise and slowly lifted it up and away from her body. Pulling her against him, he felt a shudder of ecstasy as they touched skin to skin. His hands slid up the length of her silky smooth back and around to gently cup her breasts.

“Show me...how to make you happy...”she whispered, her eyes hazy with desire. Her hands, fingertips, her mouth were already making him crazy.

“You’re doing just fine...”he nuzzled her ear, sliding his tongue around its outer curve, teasing her with master precision. In turn, she explored his upper body, running her fingertips over the smoothly muscled skin, watching his face. As he felt her move down his abdomen, he took one hand and slid it even lower still. He breathed in sharply as she touched him there, all the while held prisoner by her luminous eyes. He leaned back a little as she eagerly began. With her dainty hands, she stroked him up and down, passing over the tip with her thumb. He was quite large and at first it rather frightened her. She could put her hands end to end around it and still the large circumcised head cleared the top of her second hand by more than an inch. But it was beautiful and smooth like the rest of his body and she grew increasingly bolder with every movement.

Under her inquisitive hands, Joe was in absolute heaven. Just watching her alone was enough to keep him at the edge of bliss. In the firelight, her peaches and cream skin glowed sensuously. He longed to touch her body, tease the taut pink nipples he could see on her full, rounded breasts. He was letting his eyes wander over her body when she unexpectedly brought her mouth down, wrapping her perfect lips around the pulse of his love. There was magic in the air as she worked him over so expertly, so soon. He guided her, speaking softly between low moans of pleasure. But it had been so long since he had been with anyone, he knew that he would have to rein himself in hard to maintain enough control for the long night of lovemaking ahead. After a moment, he pulled her gently upward to sit in his lap, facing him. He could feel the softness of her body against his as he reclaimed her lips.

He let his hands wander down over the curve of her hips, pulling her lower body against his. The sensation sent ripples of pleasure through both of them. One hand explored down further still, finding the dewy center of her womanhood. With his fingers, he opened her up like a flower, stroking the petals and the tender bud. She moaned softly, arching her back slightly. He let his mouth wander down her neck to the creamy perfection of her breasts. Taking one nipple in his mouth and then the other, he teased them mercilessly, running his tongue over their tautness. Her love flowed like warm honey around his fingers. As she softly sighed in ecstasy, he slowly eased one of them into her softness, feeling her body stiffen in surprise. He left it there for a moment, capturing her mouth with his once more. Then with another slow deliberate movement, he slipped another one into place beside it, as he rubbed the bud of the flower with his thumb. He heard the gasp in her throat and felt her quiver but kept his mouth to hers.

Lily soon relaxed as the circular rhythm of his thumb began sending new sensations over her entire body. She was powerless to resist his touch. He had ignited a passion within her body that was growing to a fevered pitch. Then without warning he drew his hand away and lay her back among the pillows. As he eased his body down to partially cover hers, she felt an aching desire growing deep within. His hands met her every touch as his mouth and tongue possessed her body hotly. Golden threads of passion bound them together in a perfect dance as he trailed kisses over her breasts and down her stomach to her belly button.

Joe could hear her softly sighing, sense her longing and her fear all at once. Glancing up at her face, he gave her a long smoldering look and continued on, carefully avoiding the center of her fire as he made his way down her thigh, kissing the soft firmness of her skin. She was moving instinctively drawing him toward her without knowing why. Once more, his fingers found her aching need and she moaned, arching her back towards him. She was such an exquisite creature, so beautiful and so full of desire, it was difficult to control himself. As he moved in to taste her silky sweetness, she went wild.

Waves of pleasure sent her beyond the point of return. Her fingers stroked the thick waves of his hair as she felt herself floating away in the mastery of his seduction. His hands fed the flames of her desire as his mouth gave her such sweet torture. She felt ripples of desire down to her very toes. The sensations came faster now, swirling around inside of her until they finally exploded in an unexpected contracting of muscles that left her feeling light headed. She could hear herself calling his name as over and over he brought her to the edge then pushed her over.

Then he was beside her again, his face buried in the cloud of her hair as he nuzzled her ear, whispering lovingly to her. “Baby, I want you so bad..”

She gazed up at him, her eyes were wet with tears. But they were not from sadness, rather the overwhelming love and happiness she was feeling for the man in her arms. There was no need to say a word, her kiss on his lips said everything. She felt the full weight of his body settle gently against hers, his hands moving her into place beneath him. When he locked his gaze into hers, she was hopelessly lost in the love she found burning there. “I love you, Lily...I love you so much...”he whispered over and over as he made her his own.

At first she was overcome with a sharp and swift pain that made her gasp. She clung to him, her fingers gripping his back. Then as the pain lessened, she was increasingly aware of the pleasure his movements were bringing to her body. Kissing him deeply, she pushed her tongue against his, melting in the sheer strength of his male body.

Joe settled into the warm softness of her body, feeling her tightness surround him. There had been a momentary resistance, then a breaking through. He watched her face, seeing the desire, the fear and the discomfort of her pain. But he was a part of her now, and he had never before felt so connected to a woman. She was responding now, moving her hips against his. The pain was gone from her eyes, replaced by sweet passion. He wanted to remain there with her forever, lost in the waves of the love that flowed between them.

As the waves grew higher and higher, he rocked her faster, making her cry out in her hunger for him. He could feel the velvety softness of her inner body beginning to contract, sending shivers of pleasure up his spine. He was close to losing all control but wanted to wait, watching her face for the right moment. Then suddenly it was as if she had burst into a million glowing stars. He felt the spasms of her body and saw the glow of sheer ecstasy on her face. Her breathless cries came from deep within as she held him tightly. With the surging of the tide, he let go and rocked them both ashore, his own passion finally exploding in an earth shattering moment that would forever remain frozen in time. Her name was still on his lips as he collapsed down beside her, trying to catch his breath.

Moments later, he pulled her into his arms, brushing back the hair from her face as he kissed her forehead. The fire had burned down low but still filled the room with a peaceful glow. Or perhaps that was just the light from her face. Either way, he had never before felt such a deep happiness. Lily turned her face up to his, looking at him with such love that it rendered him breathless again.

“I love you, Joe..” she whispered softly. Joe turned so that they were facing each other.

“I have never loved anyone as much as I love you right now. I hope you don’t get tired of me telling you that.” he said, tracing one finger around her full lips.

“I didn’t hear you...what was that?” she feigned confusion.

He smiled as he kissed her.

“Allow me to demonstrate.” He was pulling her on top of him. She eyed him, feeling the stirrings of his passion recovering quickly beneath her........

*******

As the night traveled on to morning, the two lovers became as one. When dawn crept into the sky, tingeing it with a deep pink, they finally slept, tangled together in the aftermath of their loving. For the first time in many long months, Joe slept the peaceful sleep of a contented man. He could think of nothing else he desired or needed beyond the warmth of the woman in his arms. Maybe happily ever after wasn’t so far out of his reach after all.........

Read the Sequel: All That Really Matters