"Janet Beatrice Henry! If you don't stop sulking and come eat breakfast, I'll- I'll-" My mother stuttered.

    "Or what?" I said as I moodily sat down in the chair. "Are you going to keep me from going to my new school?" I took a bite out of my pancakes.

    My mother poured me a glass of orange juice. "I know it's the beginning of your junior year and you've been going to the same school for your whole school career. Things change Janet, you know I couldn't stay with your father-"

    She mentioned him! I threw down my fork. "No you couldn't have stayed with Daddy! I couldn't stay with him! How could you stay with someone who beat you for getting a bad grade or because you missed a stain in his shirt?" I pushed my chair back and stood up. "I don't see why we had to move halfway across the country!" I'm originally from St. Louis. Went through the same school system all my life. Had the same friends all my life. The same routine every night. My dad would come home and inspect the house like a drill sergeant. If something was wrong you paid the price. It took her almost 16 years to get out of it. "Well if you hadn't gotten married because of me-"

    "Now stop that!" my mother yelled. "In our eyes at the time it was the right thing to do."

    "It was the right thing to do to move us from St. Louis where I have lived all my life and move me to the middle of nowhere in New Hampshire?" I stood up and went to grab my notebooks for school.

    "Well we had to go somewhere where he couldn't find us!" My mother was in tears. God my first day of school I was already in a sour mood and this worsened it.

    I opened the kitchen door and looked my mother straight in the eye. "What if he does find us?" I slammed the door and started running down the street to the bus stop. I was so far away from the school that I literally had to take the city bus and not the school bus. My mother didn't have time in the morning to take me herself. Her job was in the opposite direction. The bus pulled up. I put in my fare and took a seat in the back. I sat next to some old guy who looked like he hadn't bathed in about three months.

    "Hello there young maiden." he said with a smile. "My name is Sir George." At first I was scared but then, "My days as an actor are over. That's why I look this way. My name is George just not the "Sir" part." He was a little overly friendly but I put out my hand for him to shake, instead he kissed it. "What is your name?"

    "Janet" I was really nervous the man was scaring me.

    "First time on the bus?" He looked at me. Boy I was glad I decided to wear my long floral dress, I didn't want him to get excited. "Don't worry no one's going to hurt you. We're all pretty harmless."

    "Yeah." I said. I was starting to warm up to him he seemed so nice. "First day at a new school."

    "Oh! You are a young scholar too? I once studied at Harvard. So you are in what grade? And where is this school?"

    He wanted to know a little too much but I felt okay with talking to him now. "I'm a junior I'm going to New London High School." He laughed a little bit and we kept a very interesting conversation until I had gotten to school. As the bus pulled up I waved bye to him and got off the bus.

    "Farewell maiden!" he said. I watched the bus pull away.

    "At least I made one friend today," I whispered. I got inside the school and found my homeroom. The teacher was a big bulky red head name Mrs. Keynes. Frankly she looked like a bitch and that's all there was to it. I just grabbed the packet from my seat that came with the school codebook and my locker number and combination. I decided to check out my locker and see where it was. It was right outside the damn room where Mrs. Keynes stood every morning. I opened my locker and placed some of my notebooks inside. As I tried to arrange it a group of boys walked past me. They had to stand right near where I was.

    "Ooooo! Look at the new girl!" One of them said.

    Another laughed and yelled, "Hey sweetie! Wanna meet the welcome wagon?"

    One of the boys leaned up against the locker next to mine. He was a tall kid with black hair and the weirdest looking shirt it was tie-dye. "So uh- you know how we make a girl feel welcomed around here? We take her out back behind the football field and make out with her." The other guys laughed and whistled. I felt my face turning red with embarrassment.

    "Knock it off guys!" a voice yelled. "Leave her alone." Whoever that was I had to thank them I was in no mood to deal with people like that today. The warning bell rang and we all ran into the room. I was seated in the back of the room. I flipped through my codebook for a little bit and then looked up to see this boy walk into the room. He was tall and kind of on the thin side. He had blonde hair, it wasn't short but it wasn't long either. I took a look at what he was wearing. Brown corduroys, blue t-shirt tucked in and brown vest over it. Something clicked in the back of my brain and my eyes stayed fixed on him. I almost started at him too long and he noticed.

    "Hi!" he said in a low tone as he took his seat. "My name's-"

    "Thomas Hamilton!" Mrs. Keynes yelled. She had already started to take roll.

    "Present. And that's just Tom." he said with his hand raised. Tom continued in his low voice. "So what's your name?"

    "Oh, uh-" I was stuttering. "My name's-"

    Mrs. Keynes called me out, "Janet Henry!"

    I raised my hand and said, "Present!" I laughed nervously, "It's Janet."

    Tom laughed. "Nice to meet you." He smiled at me. "Listen sorry about my friends giving you shit out there."

    "Oh so those were your friends?" He nodded. "You hang out with a nice bunch don't you?"

    Tom shrugged and said, "They do stuff like that to all the new kids. So where you from originally?"

    "St. Louis."

"You moved a ways from home didn't you?" Tom said. "So where you-"

    "MR. HAMILTON!" Mrs. Keynes yelled.

    Tom stood up and said politely, "Yes Mrs. Keynes?"

    "You know there is no talking allowed while I take role! You had me for homeroom last year." Mrs. Keynes crossed her arms. "You don't want detention so you?"

    "No ma'am" Tom took his seat again and took out a piece of paper. He started scribbling stuff down. He handed it to me it said. "Can I see your schedule? I'll switch you." I handed him my schedule and looked at his. We had the same English class 1st Period, Geometry class 3rd period, French class 5th period, and even the same U.S. History Class in 6th period. He had Shop for 2nd while I had a Home Economics class and 4th he had Chemistry while I was stuck in Anatomy. I handed back his schedule and he gave me a wink and a little smile. The bell rang about fifteen minutes later and I went to my English class that was in the next hall. Tom came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. "Shall I escort you to class?"

    I smiled my day suddenly seemed to get a little better. "Sure." I handed him my two notebooks and we walked to class together. We started a little conversation and I found out a few things about him. First thing, he loved The Beatles just like I did. He was also on the tennis team the year before and he was going to be in the drama club and he planned on being on student council. "You're a busy guy aren't you?" I said as we came to the door. I walked through and he followed me to one side of the room. When I sat down he slid into the desk next to me and handed me my notebooks.

    "Yep school and a band." Tom boasted. "I'm going to be in one of the worlds biggest bands."

    "Really?" I asked. "What's it called?"

    Tom went to open his mouth then paused. "Well..." he said, "I don't know. But whatever it is it's gonna be huge." He opened up a green notebook on the inside cover was a crude but okay sketch of a flaming guitar. And he had his name written like flames underneath it.

    "You play guitar?" I asked.

    He looked up from what he was doodling and said, "No. I play bass. You play anything?"

    "I just play piano and flute." I laughed. "My mother wanted me to be in the school band back home. I wasn't digging it."

    "You look like a band chick." Tom said.

    "What's that mean?" My anger flared back up.

    Tom seemed shocked by my sudden mood change. "Well- I- Mean- You just look like a chick that would be in the marching band." He looked at me like I was nuts. "I didn't mean anything bad by it."

    I had to apologize. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little touchy today. Got into it with my mother."

    "I know how you feel. Me and my old man clash all the time." He bent down to tie his shoe. "We constantly fight about the hair thing. He about drags me off to the barber sometimes."

    The rest of my day went okay. After first period I couldn't stop thinking about him, there were these signals he was sending off or something. When I got to third period I was so happy to see him I got all giggly when he walked into the room. He came in with one of the boys who were teasing me before a fat blonde kid. "Hey Janet! This is Robbie. Robbie this is Janet."

    I gave him a mean look and Robbie said, "Hey about earlier, we were just playing around. We didn't mean for you to get all mad about it."

    "I didn't get mad about it." I said cheerfully. "I just wasn't in the mood to joke around this morning." Robbie laughed and he and Tom took a seat across the room.

    Next to me was a girl wearing a green dress with short brown hair and glasses. "Hi!" she said. "My name's Sarah." I introduced myself. "I noticed you like Tom Hamilton over there."

    I denied what she said. "I don't like him like that. He's a nice guy."

    "Who's your favorite Beatle?" Sarah asked.

    "Paul." I replied. "What does that-"

    Sarah cut me off. "He reminds a lot of girls of Paul. I guess it's because he's a bass player. Tom played in a band with his French teacher. They called themselves Sam Citrus and the Merciless Tangerines." She laughed and said, "They dyed their clothes orange." I giggled a little bit and looked over at Tom. He was laughing with a couple of his friends. He looked up and his eyes met mine. "I'd be careful though if I were you."

    "Why" I asked.

    "Rumor has it Tom's into pot and acid." Sarah leaned down into my ear. "I heard he came home high after going to Boston for a Saturday night. He was so sick he slept until Monday morning."

    I was angry with her for this. "He doesn't look like the type that would do drugs." I didn't know him that well and I had no clue why I said this. "He seems like too nice of a boy to do nasty things like that."

    "Did the Beatles look like boys that were too nice to do drugs?" Sarah gave an evil smile. I decided to pay more attention to the teacher at this point.

    At the end of class Tom came up to me and put his arm around my shoulder. "What's wrong?" He started walking with me to my Anatomy class.

    "That girl I was sitting with." I sighed. "She said some things."

    "Oh?" Tom laughed, "Sarah Perkins? Old girlfriend. Tries to keep every female in the entire state away from me." I laughed a little bit. "Listen. I'll see you fifth period?"

    I smiled. "You can bet on it." At lunch I sat with a few girls I met in class. There was Bridget Harlow, she was a senior. Karen Wilson, and Joy Short. As we ate they kept asking me questions.

    Joy popped the question I hope no one would. "So do you dig any of the guys here?"

    I sighed and said, "Yeah. Tom Hamilton. You know him right?" The girls all smiled and giggled. "What's wrong with Tom?"

    "He's going to get busted one of these days!" Bridget laughed.     Joy put a hand to her mouth and said, "Tell me about it!"

    I was beginning to think that maybe Sarah wasn't lying. "Busted for what?"

    Karen patted my hand and said, "Tom's into drugs. He's not bad into them, he can still function normally in school."

    I got up from seat quickly. I always promised myself that I would never have a relationship with a drug addict or and alcoholic. They had to be lying to me! I had tears coming into my eyes as I rounded a corner and bumped into someone. "I'm sorry."

    "My fault really." It was Tom. The last person I wanted to see. "Are you crying?"

    I wiped the tears out of my eyes. "No I'm not."     Tom looked around the corner and saw Karen, Bridget and Joy getting up from their table. "I think we need to talk later." He gave me a hug. "I'm supposed to be in class. See ya!"

    "Bye Tom." I watched as ran up the steps next to us. I couldn't talk to him the rest of the day. I gave him the silent treatment in French class. In U.S. History he kept passing me note after note saying he wanted to take me home after school. When the bell rang to dismiss us for the day I got up to go to my locker. Tom followed me the whole way. When I finally slammed my locker I looked him straight in the eye and said, "What do you want?"

    Tom backed off a little bit and said, "I just want to talk to you about a few things. Let me take you home. I doubt you want to take the public bus." He led me out to a station wagon. It was one of those wood panel ones, the ones termed "woodie". Tom opened the door on the passenger's side and I got in. As we drove to my house he started to talk, "I can pretty much guess people have been telling you things about me. I know you've probably heard I'm into drugs. I can't lie to you, I am. I only do it on weekends and I never let it get in the way of school or anything else."

    "Yeah." I said. "For now. I don't know how my mother would like it I were friends with a pothead."

    Tom looked over at me. "Now why does she have to know that?" He shook his head. "Honestly I'm just experimenting with it. I don't want to screw my life up. I want to go to college and everything." We passed an old farmhouse. "Hey hold on where do you live again?"

    I motioned for him to keep going, "About another mile or two."

    "We just passed my house." Tom smiled. We pulled up in front of my house. My mother's car was in the driveway that meant she was home early. "Well I guess I'll be seeing you."

    I got out of the car. "Why don't you come in?" I asked. "I'd love you to meet my mother."

    Tom thought for a second and said, "Okay." He pulled his car over to the driveway and followed me into the house.

    "Mom I'm home!" I yelled as I put my books down. "I want you to meet someone!"

    My mother came in wearing her nurse's uniform. "How was school today?" she asked.

    "Fine." I quickly introduced Tom. "This is Tom. I met him at school today. He lives about a mile or two up from us."

    "Nice to meet you Mrs. Henry." Tom shook my mothers hand.

    "Oh call me Bev," she said. "I got off work early because I wasn't feeling well. Luckily I got another nurse to come in a couple of hours early." My mother looked Tom up and down inspecting him thoroughly. "So Tom how old are you?"

    "Sixteen." Tom replied politely. "Seventeen in December."

    "I have to go get a bath now," my mother said. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Tom."

    "Nice to meet you too, Bev," Tom smiled. My mother went upstairs to get into the bathtub. "Your mother is nice."

    I answered in a flat tone. "Nice yet over bearing." I walked into the kitchen. "You want something to drink?"

    Tom shook his head. "No I should get going. I need to get ready for tomorrow. There's going to a drama club meeting." I followed him out to his station wagon. "I guess we'll be seeing each other tomorrow."

    I looked down at the ground and said, "Yeah I guess we will. Bye Tom."

    Tom started his car. "Bye Janet." He waved to me as he pulled out of the driveway. I watched him drive down the road. Maybe moving to a new place wasn't going to be so bad after all.

    Over the next few weeks Tom and I got really close. We often came over to my house to study. Well maybe a little more than studying. We weren't dating yet but Tom always hinted that he wanted our relationship to move a little further. One day he came over on a Sunday morning, I answered the door dressed in my church clothes, I had to be at mass in half hour.

    "Hi Tom!" I was so happy to see him.

    "Hi,"Tom said in a low voice. He looked down at the ground and had his hands stuffed in his pockets. He sniffed and looked up. His eyes were all puffy and red, I knew what he had been doing. "As you can see this is kind of a bad time for me to be talk g to you," he coughed, "But I've been thinking, and I really want to ask you something."

    I crossed my arms and leaned in the doorway. "Are you thinking clearly enough?" I asked.

    "I've been thinking about this for a while," Tom said. "I think I've just now gotten the courage to ask you."

    I bit my lip nervously. "Yeah? Ask me what?"     Tom fiddle around with what was in his pocket. "I know things are going a little fast but I- well since I saw you in the hall the first day of school I knew you were someone special. "He took his hand out of his pocket, he had a little box in his hand. I bought this about a week ago, it's not much." Tom opened the box and inside was a little silver ring it had a little heart-shaped stone in the middle.

    I was litterally speechless. "Oh Tom-"I gasped. "It's so...so..."

    Tom put the ring on my finger. "So do you want be my girl?"

    He looked sober as he said that. I nodded and kissed him long and good on the mouth. All of a sudden he slipped his tounge into my mouth. I pulled away from him. Tom looked stunned and said, "Did I something wrong?"

    I shook my head. "I've just never been french kissed before."

    "Oh," Tom laughed. "If you want to take things slow I can do that."

    My mother came out of the front door. "Hello Tom," she said.

    Tom quickly looked down at the ground. "Good morning." He looked over at his car and said, "I have to get going. I guess you need to get to church."He ran down to his car and waved to me. "See you at school tommorrow!"

"Bye Tom!"I waved back to him My mother smiled and put her arm around my shoulder. "He's such a nice boy."

    I sighed and looked at my ring, "Yeah, I know."

    About two weeks later I was over at Tom';s house on a Saturday morning. We were studying for a history test over the Civil War that was Monday. His brother Scott had to be in the living room the same time we were practicing his guitar.

    "Scott!"Tom complained. "Do you mind?"

    Scott kept playing and yelled over the noise, "Hey I live here too!"     Tom shook his head. "You want to go up to my room?"He looked around to look for his mother.

    "Yeah, sure."

    I followed him up the steps into his bedroom. It was a pretty big sized bedroom. All over the wall hung pictures of The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Cream, The Who, and Jimi Hendrix. He had a lava lamp over in one corner that wasn't turned on. The room was pretty cluttered with clothes and books.

    "When was the last time you cleaned?" I laughed.

    Tom cleared some clothes off of a chair and said, "About a month ago." He scooted the chair up to a desk that had some papers on it and a picture of him and two other guys. I sat down in the chair and looked at the picture. "Who are these guys?" I asked.

    Tom looked over his shoulder and said, "Oh the guy with the dark hair is this guy Joe Perry. We jam together during with that other guy's Pudge Scott. Joe's the guitarist, Pudge is the drummer. Joe's from Boston."He put a chair down next to me and laid his hand on mine. "You know what? We both have A's in that class why study?"

    I smiled at him, "What are you thinking Tom Hamilton?"

    He slipped me a kiss and said, "Let';s go to Boston tonight." He got up from the chair. "Let's go right now!" I got up from my chair and followed him downstairs.

    "Can you make up your mind what you want to do? First you want to come over to my house and watch Saturday morning TV, then you want to study, now you want to go Boston!" I looked at a clock on the wall in his kitchen. "All this before eleven o'clock."

    Tom grabbed some keys off of the kitchen table. "Dad! Mom! I'm going out! Taking the car!" He grabbed my arm and we ran out the front door.

    As we started to drive Tom turned on the car radio and tried to find a decent station. There was one coming in with a little bit of static that was playing a new Beatles song called "Lady Madonna". Tom started singing along with it loudly. "I love this song! I wish I could play it on piano."

    The trip was long but we finally made it to Boston. As we pulled into a little hippie-type neihboorhood. The radio started to play "Are you Expierenced?" by Hendrix. There were people walking around in a daze, blowing bubbles, giving the piece sign and utting flowers in their hair.

    "Wow. Look at all those people."

    Tom parked the car in parking lot near a barbers shop. (I was thinking it was doing a lot of good where it was) We came up in front of a little shop selling inscense and beads. Tom bought so inscense while I bought both him and me love beads. I put the beads wround his neck and slipped him a kiss. Tom put his arm around my shoulder and escorted me to all the neat places around town.

    "Hey Freddie!"Tom walked over to a tall kid with curly brown hair.

    "Tom my friend."Freddie laughed and slapped Tom a high five. "What product can I get for you?"

    I zoned out of the conversation at the word, "product". I knew what that meant.

    Tom came bag with a little baggie of marijuana. "I was going to have some later." Then he added, "You don't have to try any if you don't want to. I'm not going to pressure you."

    "Okay. Thanks Tom," I hugged him and we held hands as we walked around the city. As the sun went down we came to a little house outside of town. There was a party going on. "Is this why you wanted to come?"

    "No!" Tom yelled over Grateful Dead music. "Freddie told me me about this party! We won';t stay more than an hour or two I promise!"I saw Tom pull out the bag and roll himself a joint. He lit it and started to get into the music. "If you get tired of hanging around me you can just wander off."

    I wondered around the room a little bit, I kept bumping into people who were just staring out into nothing. I made my way back to Tom who was still looking pretty sober. "Hey Tom could we leave now?"

    Tom looked around the room and simply said, "Yeah."He took his joint back from some guy and we walked outside. Tom put the joint to his lips.

    "Hey could I-"I started to ask. I was getting really curious about the whole altered state of concisnous that stuff like that was supposed to give you. "Can I?"

    "Sure."Tom handed the joint to me and took a toke off of it and coughed loudly. He laughed at me. I took another toke and held it. I felt a little dizzy. We kept sharing the joint until it was gone and then we started to walk back to the car.

    "How do you feel?" Tom asked.

    I slid down in my seat and said, "Groovy." Tom burst out laughing and put his head on the steering wheel. "What's so funny?"

    Tom stopped laughing for a second to say, "Nothing" in a silly tone. He started laughing again. "It's pretty far out isn't it?"

    "Yeah it is."I laughed a little bit. "Ah, Shit! I hope this wears off before I get home!" I started to giggle. "My mother's going to think I'm nuts."

    Tom wiped his eyes. "Oh you mean Bev?" He let out a yell. "I'm going to be nuts when I get home too!"He got serious for a second, "We should be okay by the time we get home."

    By the time we got home it was 9:30. Tom walked me up to my door. I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I had a fun time today."

    "I did too." Tom hugged me. "Goodnight Janet. Maybe we'll study for real tommorrow." Tom walked down the steps to his car as a slight breeze kicked up.

    "I thought we had A';s and didn';t need to study," I said.

    Tom looked back at me and shrugged. "Couldn';t hurt to keep those A's the way they are." He slid into his car and started it.

    I walked upstairs to my room and got into my pajama's. I looked at Tom';s picture he had gotten taken on picture day. The picture made him look like one of those nerdy kids. He was wearing a suit and tie, and had his hair pulled back. I laid in bed and ispered, "After tonight I can tell things aren't going to be the same ever again."

    Not long after that it was Halloween and there was the dance at school. We dressed up for school that day. I came as Cleopatra, my hair was perfect for it-straight and black. I spent the ten minutes before homeroom trying to spot Tom. I was thinking o a costume that might bring out a little of his personality. First thing I thought of was a werewolf. I found one but it wasn't him. The warning bell rang and I ran to homeroom. About thirty second later there was Tom! He had dressed up as a Beatle just for me.

    "Oh my gosh! Paul!"     Tom sat down next to me and kiss my hand. He spoke in a british accent, "Hey there what's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" I giggled, "Hey you know I love you and I wanna hold you hand."

    "Tom you';re a dork!"I took my hand away from his. At the dance after school Tom got the band to play some Beatles tunes, they did "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and "Drive my Car." The slow song was also a Beatles song, "And I Love Her". Tom and me slowdanced near the front where the band was. He kept singing the words quietly into my ear. After that he jumped on the stage and got the band to do "Light My Fire", which he sang. The dance was great. I got Tom to bob for apples because I was worried my makeup would come off. When he came up out of the water with his apple I immediatly bit on the other side.

    Tom let go of the apple and cringed. "Ew. Cooties."

    I spit out my apple. "Just playing around."

    We went trick or treating that night and came back to my house with both of our pillow cases full of candy.

    "You know what?" I said as I unwrapped a lollipop, "I counted this. We were asked, 'Hey, aren't you a little old for trick or treating'' twenty four times."

    "Really?" Tom said. "I didn't know." He took out something from his pocket. It was a little pill or something.

    "What's that?"I asked.

    Tom stuck the pill in his mouth and swallowed it. "Acid. You're not ready for it yet."

    "I'm certainly not!" I said. "I heard that stuff can really screw up your brain!"

    "Only temporarily."Tom said. "I'm guessing you're not curious about this stuff."

    "Well I'm still curious," I stuck the lollipop in my mouth, "but not that curious."

    Little did I know at the time that I would become that curious.

***

    My mother had a Christmas party that year, she invited all of her friends from work that could get off for Christmas Eve. I invited Karen, Joy and Bridgette. I tried to get Tom to come but his family already had other plans. I was talking to one of my mothers friends, Andrew, when the phone rang. I ran to answer it.     “Hello?”

    A deep voice answered on the other end, “Hello Janet have you been a good girl or a bad girl this year?” It was Tom.

    I giggled, “So how are things at your party?”

    Tom said, “It’s going good. It’d be better if you were here.”

    “Oh! That’s so sweet!” I squealed. “I wish I could be there too. This party isn’t a party.”

    My mother came up behind me. “Janet. Get off the phone. You can talk to Tom anytime.”

    I sighed. “Tom I have to go. Mom won’t let me stay on.”

    Tom made a kissing noise into the phone. “Okay. Merry Christmas baby.”

    I kissed the phone, “Merry Christmas!” I hung up the phone and went to talk to more people in the room. Later that night I got into bed. I laid down for a minute and got back up to go to my dresser. I had to make sure it was still there. I opened up th door and pulled out a small box. Inside was a necklace for him. It was the shape of a star and engraved in it was : T.W.H. & J.B.H. 1968. I put it back and went back to bed.

    I was awakened at dawn to the sound of something hitting my window. As I got out of my bed I saw a snowball hit my window. I ran over there and saw Tom and opened the window. Tom looked up and yelled, “Santa Clause left me something to give you at my house!”

    I shook my head. “I’ll be right down!” I ran down the steps and opened the front door.

    Tom took his hood off and gave me a kiss. “I’ve got something for you.” He held up a small box. I opened it up and saw a necklace inside it. It was in the shape of a heart and had engraved on it: J.B.H. & T.W.H. - 1968. I laughed and ran upstairs and got his present. “I’ve got something for you too.”

    Tom opened the box and laughed. “We’re starting to read each others minds.” He slipped it around his neck. “You and your Mama are still sleeping? We’ve been up for a couple of hours now.”

    I yawned, “What time is it?”

    “It’s about seven o’clock.” Tom smiled. “My parents wanted to know if you and your mom have any plans for today.”

    I shook my head. “Just opening presents.” Tom stretched and sighed. “My mother wants to invite you and your mother over to dinner at four thirty.”

    At that point my mother had just come downstairs.

    “Mom? Can we go over to Tom’s for Christmas dinner?” I asked ever so sweetly.

    My mother thought for a second and said, “Sure.” She looked at Tom as if she just noticed him standing there. “Hello Tom.”

    “Hi Bev.” Tom gave a little wave and put his hood back on. “I have to go home now and get cleaned up and stuff. See you later.” Tom opened the door and went out into the snow.     “So what did Tom get you for Christmas?” My mother asked.

    I laughed, “A necklace.”

    It was a better Christmas than usual. I got two new dresses, a new pair of shoes, and some new sheet music. I got my mother some new makeup and a new dress shirt. As I got ready I had trouble deciding what to wear. I chose a scarlet dress with lace around the bottom of the sleeves. When four o’clock came me and my mother headed over to Tom’s I knocked on the door and Tom’s older sister Perry answered the door.

    “Hi!” she said cheerfully. “Come on in.”

    I smelled turkey cooking in the oven and I also smelled dressing and mashed potatoes. My mouth was watering.Tom ran down the steps wearing a light blue dress shirt and a black tie.

    “Hi Janet!” I ran over to hug him. “Ready to eat some of my mom’s good home cooking?”

    I kissed him on the cheek. “Actually I’m- ”

    Tom put a finger to my lips. “My parents are around. Jesus.” I sat next to Tom at the dinner table and right across from his dad.

“So Janet.” His dad (who insisted that me and my mother call him Mr. Hamilton) said. “How are things going with you and Tom?”

    I flushed a little bit. “Oh- uh- things are going great.”

    Mr. Hamilton swallowed. “That’s good. I see you’re wearing that necklace he bought you.I was with him at the department store when he bought. I never saw a boy spend that much money on a girl so fast. I’d say he barely glanced at it and emptied his wallet.”

Tom leaned on his left elbow on the table and said in a frustrated voice, “Oh dad.”

    “Tom get your elbow off the table.” Mrs. Hamilton said. “It’s bad manners.”

    Tom took his elbow down, “Yes mom.”

    Mr. Hamilton started talking again, “So are you planning to come over for Tom’s birthday? It’s on New Years eve you know.”

    I looked at Tom. “Yeah I had planned on it.”

    Mrs. Hamilton looked at me nervously. “Well we’re not going to be here. We’ll be at a party. So will Scott and Perry. Cecily was staying the night at a friends. It’s good to see he’s not going to be alone on his birthday.”

    After dinner the adults talked in the living room while me, Tom, Scott and Cecily went outside. As soon I stepped out of the door a snowball whizzed past me. “Who did that?”

    Another one I looked up and saw Scott picking up snow. Scott smiled evilly. “I just wanted to welcome you to the family.”

    “Scott!” Tom yelled and hurled a snowball that got him right in the nose. “Touché!”

    “Oh Tom!” Cecily yelled. Tom turned around and got a face full of snow. I started to laugh.

    “You think that’s funny?” Tom asked. “Here I’ll show you funny!” He picked up a bunch of snow and threw at me. We all ran around the yard for a good hour. My mother opened the door and a snowball hit the side of the house.

    “Janet come on, we have to leave!”

    “Aaawww Mom!” I whined. “Can’t I stay just a little bit longer?”

    My mother shook her head. “Now Janet!” I ran over to Tom and knocked him down into the snow. I kissed him on the lips. “See you New Years Eve baby.”

“See you New Years.” He kissed me on the cheek. “I love you.” I went home thinking about how great New Years Eve was going to be. New Years Eve was going to be one of the nights that would change my life.

    New Years Eve came quickly for me that year. I went out and bought Tom a pair of skates so we could go to the local skating rink together. When I got to his house he was the only one home. It was eight o'clock at night. When he opened his present he just said, "Thanks."

    "What's wrong?" I asked.     Tom stood up and said, "I can't skate."

    "You can't skate?" And I thought everyone knew how.

    "I haven't skated since I was eight." Tom put the skates down.

    "Here put them on and I'll show you." I helped him put his skates on and helped him off the couch in his living room. I took him him in the dining room, moving anything breakable out of the way. At first we went around the room slowly, then a little faster, then I let him go- and he fell flat on his butt. I started laughing.

    "That's not funny!" Tom yelled. "It hurt!"     "You looked so silly though." I covered my mouth and tried to stop.

    Tom got up and balanced himself. "You think that's funny?" He started to chase me around the dinning room on his skates. He didn't fall once.

    When he got me I said, "Hey you didn't fall. Congratulations."

    Tom kissed me on the cheek. "Hey I got some pot. You want some?"

    "Aren't you worried your parents are going to smell it?" I pushed him away gently.

    "They won't be home until late." Tom assured me. "We can burn incense. They'll never know."

    I sighed, "Okay." Tom ran upstairs and back down them in no time. He was already rolling a joint. He lit it and handed it to me. I took a little toke, I coughed just like the first time. Tried it again and did better holding it in. I got a head rush or something. "Whoa. My head's spinning."

    Tom took it back and took a hit. "Yeah I know how that feels." He went and turned on his parents stereo. The only rock radio station in the entire state was playing "Light my Fire" by The Doors.

    "Oh man I love this song!" I went over and turned the stereo up halfway and it was getting a pretty good sound. We kept listening to music and smoking pot and later Tom started burning strawberry incense. It smelled so good. It was almost eleven thirty when Tom started kissing me on the neck.

    "Tom."

"What's wrong?" Tom started to suck on my neck.

    "Nothing."

    I let him work his way up to my mouth. We fell over on the couch in a fit of kissing, he slipped his tounge into my mouth. It was weird for me but then I wanted to go further than that. I started to unbutton my blouse. I at Tom who was unzipping his pants. I didn't realize until then what I was doing. At first I wanted to stop; but then I didn't want to stop. We kept going further until we were together. I felt new sensations all over my body and I liked it. When it was over, I felt fantastic. Tom gave me one last kiss on the lips. I started to button my blouse back up. Then all of a sudden I started to tear up. I thought "Oh god! What have done?" I wiped the tears out of my eyes.

    Tom came over to me and hugged me and whispered in my ear softly, "I love you." He sounded like he meant it.

    I moved some of his hair out of his face. "I love you too."

    The clock on his mantel struck midnight. "Happy New Year." I kissed him on the cheek. "Happy New Year." Tom turned to the local easy listening station that was playing, "Auld Lang Syne".

    I ran upstairs to use the bathroom. As I washed my hands I noticed something on my neck. "Oh no." It was a hickey.

    "I'm in trouble." I flung my hair around my shoulders. It covered it up almost perfectly. I walked down the steps. Tom was messing with the stereo.

"Damned thing."

    He looked up at me and smiled.

    "Tom- I have to go." I said. "I'll see you later?"

    Tom came over to me and kissed me on the cheek. "You bet."     I drove home in the snow that night thinking that would be the last time I'd have a major experience with drugs. Boy was I wrong.

****

    About three months later I was sitting at lunch, it was a Tuesday I think, and cramming for the French Test the next period. Tom came up to me and sat down. "You know what I heard?"

    I glanced up from my book. "That you're going to get in trouble because you're not in class?"

    Tom shook his head, "No. There's going to be a huge party this week at Cathy Marshall's house."

    "I don't know about a party Tom." I said. "I'm not a very social in a large group setting."

    "Oh come on Janet." Tom got down on his knees in the middle of the lunch room. "Please? We'll only stay an hour. Chris, Robbie and Alan are going too and they're bringing their not-as-pretty-as-you girlfriends," he smiled.

    I went back to my book. "You're a brown-noser." I looked down at him. "Get up. We'll go. But only for an hour or so."

    "Thank you baby!" He kissed me on the cheek and ran back up the steps laeding out of the cafeteria.

    I laughed quietly to myself. "We're wrapped around each others fingers."

    Saturday came and Tom picked me up at my house. I was dressed in a new outfit I bought, red mini skirt and a matching long sleeved blouse. We pulled up in front of Cathy's house. She was a rich girl who had parents that didn't give a shit whether she lived or she died. She was the one who answered the door. "Hi Tom! Hi Janet! Come on in!" There was loud music and bubbles and a smokey haze in the room.

    "Damn I wish my mom would let me throw a party like this!" Tom yelled.

    Cathy shook her head. "My parents are gonna be out of town for the next week. They don't know!" She went to talk to some other guests.

    "Oh boy," Tom said. "Watch what's given to you." He took a hit off of a joint that was passed to him. "You want some?" He smiled. I shook my head no and he passed it on to another kid.

    I bumped into someone. It was Karen Wilson.

    "Sorry Karen." I had learned over the past few months that she was the school stool pidgeon.     Karen flashed me an evil smile. "Janet! It's a suprise to see you here."

    "Same here," I mumbled.

"Are you here with Tom?" Karen asked. I nodded. "Well why aren't you off with him?"

    I shrugged, "I wanted to mingle a little bit."

    "You picked a good place." Karen took a drink of whatever she had. "There's kids here from Massachusettes and I know there's a couple of kids from New York who said they were bored and nothing better to do."

    "That's good Karen." I started to back away. "I'll see if I can find them." I walked around looking at people I'd never seen before and people I have but never would expect to see at a party. Ashley Perkins was at the party. She was so spaced outwhen I tried to talk to her it wasn't even funny. I tried to squeeze through a group of kids and tripped and fell into some poor boy spilling his drink. "I am so sorry." I leaned over to pick the cup up. "It's okay." He bent over to pick up the cup to. We butted heads. I checked him out for a second. He wasn't half bad looking. A little short, brown curly hair, dressed in hippie attire.

    "I'm Joey!" He yelled over the music.

    "Hey I'm Janet." I laughed. "I'm sorry about your drink."

    "They're free. I'll get another one," Joey said. "You want one?" I nodded. He came back with a drink in his hand and handed it to me. "So where you from?"

    ""Around here. I go to New London High School." I replied. "What about you?"

    Joey took a drink. "I'm from New York. I go to New Rochelle Academy."

    "Really? I have a cousin that goes there." I was amazed I was striking up a conversation. "Danny Boyle? Maybe you know him. Kinda tall, really thin, the glasses-

"     "With red hair. Reads Science Fiction stuff all the time?"

    "That's the one."

    Joey laughed, "How are you related to that?"

    "He's not really a freak. He's just really, really smart."

    I took a drink from cup. It was fruit punch and I was hoping it hadn't been spiked. I looked at my watch. "I had been there over an hour. I decided to find Tom. "Sorry but I've got to go find my date. I told my mom we wouldn't be here more than a couple of hours. What's your name again? If I'm in New York I might look you up."     "Joey Kramer," he said. "See ya' Janet." He grabbed another kid that walked past him and started talking to him.

    I found Tom in a corner of the room with Karen Wilson, Cathy Marshall and Mary Blankenship. There was a red-head I didn't reconginize.

    "Tom." I said, "I'm ready to go." I saw that he was handing out pills to the other girls. I sighed, "You better hope you're not seeing shit on the way home."

    Tom looked up, "You want to try some?"

    I thought for a second. This was a really hard decision for me to make. But then I thought hell doind it once couldn't kill me. I stuck out my hand. "Sure." Tom place a little pill in my hand and I swallowed it immediatly.

    "I don't know." Karen said. "What if I have a bad trip?"

    "You'll be fine." Tom popped thie pill in his mouth. "Excuse me I don't have a whole lot of time. I need to get her home."

    We ran out to his car and he gunned it to my house. He was doing fifty! All the time I was praying. "Don't let us get pulled over. Don't let us get pulled over..." Whe we pulled up to the house. I told him goodnight and he burned rubber back down to his house. Upstairs I got ready for bed then I started trip. At first the colors in my room started to blur together, every little creek in my floor I heard ten times louder than usual. I saw shapes start to float around me. It was awesome! Even though I liked it, I made myself promise to never touch it again. There was a chance it could have been a bad trip. I got into bed my head still swirled up in the little psychedelic world of my room.

    I had the great feeling until I went back to school on Monday...

    At school on Monday I was still feeling good. In homeroom Tom and I behaved but we passed notes to each other asking about our trips. The day was going great untill sixth period. Tom came into class looking worried. "What's wrong?" I asked.

    Tom slid into his desk and whispered, "I'm gonna take you home first thing after school. No study session at my house."

    "Why?"

    Tom looked around. "Robbie came up to me during lunch and said that something was up. And did you notice that Karen Wilson isn't here today?"

    I laughed, "Yeah I definitely noticed." I paused, "Oh no. You don't think-"

    Tom shushed me. "I think she did I'm gonna take you straight home. I don't want you getting mixed up with this." The bell rang and we had to stop talking. But after school we were in no big rush to get home.

    I started to cry in the car. "You could get kicked out of school for this! They could lock you up! Your life is gonna be ruined!"

    "Janet," Tom said. "Don't worry about me. I hope Karen hasn't mentioned the fact that you were there too."

    I looked up at him. "You know she would. God! I hate that bitch!"

    Tom shook his head. "Doesn't about forty percent of the school."

    We passed his house and saw a police car waiting in his drive way. "Well looks like I'm grounded."

    We were about a block from my house when we saw a cop car pull into my driveway. I panicked, "Oh no! Tom turn around. If you're going to busted I'm going to get busted with you."

    Tom sighed and pulled into a driveway to turn around. "Man, you can't trust anyone on the honor society at school can you?" He re-thought what he said. "Almost anyone." We pulled up into the drive and the cop was sitting in his cruiser waiting for us. "Well this is it. Where's the music at?"

    "Dah duh duh." I sang in a menacing tone. We got out of the car and the pig got out of his.

    "Well Tom." The cop began in a rough voice. "What were you doing last night?"

    Tom cleared his throat, "Just had a good time with a few so called friends."

    The cop looked at me, "Who's this?"

    Tom replied, "That's my girlfriend Janet Henry."

    The cop looked at his notebook, "Son you and your girlfriend place your hands behind you back." Another cop stepped out of the car. "Place the handcuffs on them and read them their rights."

    The cop handcuffed Tom and I. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you you say can and..." I drifted out of reality for a few minutes. I can't remember what happend. The next things I knew we were in the police car heading for the station.

    "Janet." Tom whispered. "Listen. I want to keep you out of any trouble. This is my fault. I'm going to take full responsibility."

    "You can't." I said. "I wanted to-"

    "You never would have wanted to if you hadn't met me," he sighed. "I'm sure you mother would love to see me on her front porch again."

    When we got to the station we were put into seperate rooms. The cop that was with me asked me questions about my relationship with Tom and if I had done any other drugs with him. They also asked me if I had ever done any drugs before I met him. "No. I was curious but I never did it." My mother bailed me out and gave me the silent treatment on the way home.

    When we got home she sat me down on the couch. She spoke pretty calmly, "Listen. I know Tom is a nice boy. He's just tied up in bad things. I know you love you him and he feels the same way. I don't want to tear you two apart." She kneeled down next to me on the couch. "Janet. Just- just promise me- promise that you'll never do any drugs again."

    I looked down at the floor. "Yes mother I promise."

    The next day I had to go to court. I saw Tom sitting in the front of the courtroom. The judge called him up.

    "Thomas, did you give the drug LSD to the following girls: Karen Wilson, Mary Blankenship, Heather Mitchelle, Cathy Marshall, and Janet Henry?"

    Tom cleared his throat, "Yes I did your honor." The judge asked another question. "How long have you been doing LSD Thomas?"

    "For about a year, your honor."

    The judge glanced around the room. "Have you done any other drugs?"

    "Marijuana your honor." Tom was allowed to sit down.

"Janet Henry could you please step forward?" The judge shuffled some papers. "Janet, was this the first time you have used LSD?"

    "Yes your honor.", I replied nervously.     "Janet." The judge began, "Have you experimented with any other drugs?"     I looked over at Tom, "Yes your honor. Marijuana."

    "When?"

    I sighed, "Back in October Tom and I went to Boston for a Saturday. I tried pot for the first time there. I also had some on New Years Eve."

    "Have you ever done anything under the influence of any narcotic?" The judge asked. I looked down at the floor and then at Tom. "Janet may I remind you that you are in a court of law and you are under oath."

    "Yes- yes- your- your honor" I stuttered.

    "What?"

    I was breathing heavily. I'd have to say it in front of everyone. "I had- I had- sex." I glanced over at Tom. He had his head hung and his father was looking at him. I felt tears streaming down my face.

    The judge shuffled some more papers and told me to sit down. He called the rest of the girls up. The last one to go up was Karen. "Tell me Karen what happend when you took the LSD."

    Karen cleared her throat and talked in a proper voice.

    "Your honor, I was at a party with the girls and Tom. As I was talking to Tom and Janet, Tom pulled out a little pill bottle and took a pill out of it. When I asked what it was he said it was a acid. He offered me some and I refused, then he reassured me that nothing would go wrong so I took it. Later that night when I got into bed I all of a sudden felt hot and I saw the room on fire. I screamed and ran downstairs to my mother and collapsed on the floor." She looked over at me and then at Tom.

    "Thank you Karen." The judge said and Karen sat down. "This court will take a short recess while I decide on the fines."

    We all went out into the hallway. I went over to Tom who was standing with his parents and hugged him. "Oh god this is one of the worst days of my life."

    Tom tried to comfort me. "Same here. Don't worry though everything is going to be alright."

    About an hour later we were let back into the court room. The judge came in. "I have decided. To the following you shall pay a one hundred dollar fine: Karen Wilson, Mary Blanken, Heather Mitchelle, Cathy Marshall and Janet Henry." The look on Karen's face lightened the situation. Thomas Hamilton, you shall pay a fine of three hundred dollars. Court is adjourned." We all left out he front of the courthouse.

    I ran up to Tom. "How are you going to pay the fine?"

    Tom shrugged, "I guess I 'll have to get a job. Summer is coming up maybe I can pay off the fine by playing some gigs."

    His father came up behind him. "Come on Tom we're going home." He turned to look at me. "I want you to stay away from my son. You hear me? Don't call him. Don't talk to him. You understand?"

    I felt my heart break in two. I couldn't bear to hear what he said to me. As he walked away I whispered, "No I don't."

Conclusion