THE JOESUIT ORDER
(Visit the MIRROR)
"THE JOESUIT ORDER"
THE HAREM OF JOE PERRY
(Concubines of Joe Perry, Joesuits)
The Joesuits are a religious order founded by Pope Diva I, and designated by her "The Harem of Joe Perry," to indicate the group's true divine leader and sensual spirit, also referred to as "Mister Joe Fuckin' Perry," "The Serpent God," or "The Rattlesnake God." The term "Concubine of Joe Perry" is used when referring to an individual member of The Harem. The Order's title can also be abbreviated to the term "Joesuits" (pronounced "JOE-ZOO-ITS" of recent origin: those members of The Aerosmith Lust Posse who fantasize too frequently and in too great detail about Joe Perry), and was first applied to worshippers at sonymusic.com's Aerosmith Bulletin Board in 2001.
The Harem ranks among five major sub-sects of The Aerosmith Lust Posse, Sisters in The Temple of Aerosmithicism, a group which believes the members of Aerosmith (America's Greatest Rock and Roll Band) are gods. As has been explained under the title "The Ten Commandments of Aerosmithicism," this faith encourages a sensual path to self-improvement through rigorous adherence to Aerosmith worship. The Joesuit Order are particularly dedicated to strict observation of the Tenth Commandment, particularly the second clause:
THE TENTH COMMANDMENT
Thou art permitted to covet Our Talent, Our Bodies, Our Kick-Ass Lifestyle. Thou art permitted to lust after Us, and to fan these flames in thine own heart, and in the hearts of others. Thy desire is pleasing to Us, and thy devotion shall be rewarded by Us for all the days that thou rockest.
THE SHRINE OF JOE PERRY
When The Diva began to devote herself to the service of Joe Perry, she originally had no plans to open The Order to additional members. However, after worshipping for a period of time with other Aerosmithics at sonymusic.com's Aerosmith Bulletin Board, she became convinced that the bounty which is Joe Perry was plentiful enough to sustain additional members of The Harem. In a true spirit of fellowship, The Diva put selfish considerations aside to admit all Joe Perry-obsessed members of The Aerosmith Lust Posse.
Since then, The Joesuits have become well-known for eschewing evangelism. Unlike many other religious orders, Concubines of Joe Perry do not seek new converts, but prefer to restrict their membership to a select elite of truly devoted followers -- primarily to reduce competition for the attention of their deity. Entirely obsessed with the divinity of the guitarist, and completely disinterested in attending to the mundane details of day-to-day life, The Joesuits spend much of their time observing sounds and images related to their sensual leader.
From the group's founding, The Diva offered her services and those of her fellow Joesuits to The Serpent God, who has thus far not seen fit to bless his devotees with sexual demands -- much to their disappointment.
The Harem was not founded with the intention of restricting The Concubines to the worship of Joe Perry alone. Many Joesuits also belong to other orders devoted to other members of Aerosmith. Neither the papal letters nor the secret vows of the order forbid this practice.
The official publication of The Harem is sonymusic.com's Aerosmith Bulletin Board. Pope Diva I has written extensive encyclicals on Aerosmithicism at this online site, but these writings in no way comprise the totality of Joesuit documents.