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The full English text of Minister Urbani's remarks follows:
[Translated from the original Italian]
Today is indeed a blessed day for Italy, and for all of Europe. I do not pretend to know the significance of the event that has unfolded here today. Only time will tell if this event precedes a full European Tour by the band Aerosmith. The good people of Italy and of Europe have patiently awaited the return of our musical saviors. Perhaps today's miracle is a sign that our wait will not be long. Thank you, Aerosmith be with you, and good day.
Minister Urbani quickly left the hastily-staged press conference, tears in his eyes, and did not take any questions from the gaggle of reporters that had, on very short notice, filled the room to overflow capacity.
Earlier, guests of the Galleria dell'Accademia claimed that, while observing Michaelangelo's masterpiece, the strains of "Back in the Saddle" filled the room, and a red silk shirt appeared on "The David." As the song built towards its climax, the shirt, which at first appeared ephemeral, appeared to gain substance, until it was indistinguishable from real clothing.
For almost twenty minutes, none of the guests present moved, for fear of breaking "the spell." As the next tour group arrived to observe the statue, reports spread to the Galleria dell'Accademia's staff that something "miraculous" had occured.
No one in the Galleria has yet attempted to touch the shirt. The general concensus among scholars and theologians consulted by the Ministry of Culture is that human contact might cause the shirt to vanish, along with any hopes of a European tour by Aerosmith.
The government of The United States, which has today been the site of several similar events of a seemingly paranormal nature, has not commented on either the several events in North America, or this most recent event in Europe.
Please stay tuned, as this continues to be a developing story.
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